Does it work if they’re not techy?

They tap a link and allow the camera. That’s the whole setup.

No. There’s no analysis, no advice, and nothing to work through. It’s a game.

What if it gets emotional?

Sometimes it does. The game keeps a shape around it, and it ends when it ends.

The call with your mum, with something in it

You ring. You ask how she is. She says fine, and asks about work. Twenty minutes later you hang up having swapped nothing either of you will remember.

It isn’t for lack of love. It’s that neither of you knows how to start the other conversation — the one about what she wishes for, or what he’s grateful for, or what they were like at your age. Somebody has to go first, and going first feels like announcing that something’s wrong.

A game means nobody has to go first. You just play.

“My dad would never do this”

He’d never do an exercise. He’ll play a game — especially one with rules, turns and a clear end. Nothing asks him to open up on command; it just asks whose go it is. Try it once and see.

Start with

Thank You, Everything

Parents are extraordinarily good at this one. Small things count, and the last round turns the thank-yous toward each other.

The Wishing Game

As many wishes as you like, ending with one made for the other person. Hearing your mother wish for something out loud is not a small event.

The invite

The hardest part is asking. Here are the words — send them as they are.

“I found a game — it’s about ten minutes, we play it over video. Can we try it on Sunday?”

Questions

Does it work if they’re not techy?: They tap a link and allow the camera. That’s the whole setup.
Is this therapy?: No. There’s no analysis, no advice, and nothing to work through. It’s a game.
What if it gets emotional?: Sometimes it does. The game keeps a shape around it, and it ends when it ends.

Start a HeartSpace

Also for

A friend far away Long distance A new friendship Meeting someone new Bringing someone in